Obrolan dimulai saat lewat pasar tradisional. Which is only around 10 mins from my house.
Driver (D): wah ini pasarnya rame ya kalo malam.
Ika (I): Kalau siang lebih heboh lagi pak. Biasanya saya lewat komplek gamprit, tapi banyak polisi tidur sih.
D: biarin aja tidur, jangan dibangunin
I: hahahahahahahahaha. Iya pak.
D: orang kalo jatuh cinta, jauh lho mbak dari penyakit!
I: *eh kok ini obrolannya gak nyambung*
oh ya pak? Hahahahaha
*ketawa sopan. Biar terlihat menyimak. Padahal udah khawatir ini bakal diajak ngomong nggak juntrung ngalor ngidul*
D: iya mbak, demam-demam gitu pasti hilang.
I: emangnya bapak lagi jatuh cinta?
D: wah, saya mah selalu sedang jatuh cinta mbak. Aneh ya.
I: wahhh. Hebat banget. Sama istrinya kan?
D: iya dong. Sama istri saya. Dia itu hebat mbak. Selalu bisa bikin saya jatuh cinta.
I: waaaaw. Apa rahasianya?
D: nyebelin dan suka ngomel.
I: hah? Tapi bikin bapak terus jatuh cinta?
D: lha iya. Hebat lho. Saya selalu bisa kangen sama dia. Ya sama omelannya. Nyebelin. Tapi kangen.
Namanya juga pernikahan ya. Nggak romantis terus. Tapi ya itu anehnya. Orang ini bisa bikin saya jatuh cintaaaaaaa terus. Bahkan dengan omelannya. Aneh kan. Saya juga sebel kenapa bisa gini. Tapi seneng juga. Ya kayak jatuh cinta tiap saat aja. Hidup rasanya enteng, demam-demam hilang.
I: hahahahaha bisa gitu ya pak.
D: ya bisa. Saya sadar kok. Orang kayak saya ini nggak banyak. Terlalu banyak orang di luar sana kayak layangan putus. Kesana-kemari, nggak jelas apa yang dicari. Kok bisa ya. Saya itu, kalo udah malem gini ya kangen. Pengen pulang. Bukannya saya nggak suka cewek cantik. Ya tapi, itu lho. Udah kebanyakan layangan putus di dunia. Dan dilalah saya selalu kangen kok sama yg nyebelin di rumah itu.
I: waaaawww hahahaha. Hebat pak. Bapak udah lama nikahnya? Udah punya putra/putri berapa pak?
D: sudah tua saya iniiiii. Sudah aki-aki. Istri saya juga sudah nenek-nenek. Anaknya jangan kaget ya. Banyak. Ada lima.
Maaf nih ya. Kalo di ranjang, istri saya tuh selalu bisa memuaskanku, mbak. Nggak pernah nggak puas. Makanya anaknya banyak.
I: hebat yaa istri bapak! Bapak juga hebat sih. Nggak banyak orang yg dikasih rejeki skill kaya gitu lho pak.
It was a very short conversation, but it gave me laughters and lessons.
- Feeling abundant. Duh. Bapak ini, skill bersyukurnya luar biasa.
- Istrinya!!!! Kok bisa sekeren itu? Sounds like she could manage and balance everything. She indeed deserves a man like this. Dan selalu bisa muasin di ranjang? Wawwwww. That’s really a skill.
Berdoa dalam hati semoga bisa punya keluarga kaya gini suatu hari. Suami yang pandai bersyukur, dan gue bisa jadi istri yang gak pernah lelah berusaha lebih baik. Amin!
Ramadhan 2015 hari kedua. Got lots of rizqi already. Alhamdulillah.
Kopitiam akhir-akhir ini jadi tempat favorit saya. Selain harganya relatif lebih bersahabat, rasanya juga cocok sama lidah kampung ini. Entah sudah berapa banyak teman saya ajak ke Kopitiam seberang kantor itu. Di meja anu, ketawa ngikik sama anu. Di meja itu, deg-degan parah waktu ngobrol sama itu. Seru.
Sore ini sesi Kopitiam bareng teman SMA. We haven’t seen each other since… Ages. Lamaaaaa banget! She’s now a psychologist, a psychiatrist, an HR consultant, itu lah ya. Ngobrol standard ala-ala zodiak di majalah: update karir, cinta, dan kesehatan. Di tengahnya pake bumbu kenangan-kenangan masa SMA dulu. Kopitiam session is always a good session.
Obrolan hangat tentu saja soal cinta. Pria dan lelaki. And I wanna share my biggest takeaway from my afternoon at Kopitiam. She emphasized: “idealnya seorang cewe itu harus bangga sama cowonya. Kalo nggak, itu akan tercermin lho dari behavior sehari-hari: terlihat kalo cewenya nggak hormat sama cowonya. Sadar nggak sadar. Susah untuk bisa hormat, tanpa ada rasa kagum. No matter what.”
And I second that. A good reminder. A really good one. Software yang ke-install di cowo ya emang jadi leader. Dan naluriah juga buat seorang cewe buat dipimpin. Bahwa pemimpin harus bisa membuat follower-nya kagum, adalah logis. Dan kalau mau di-translate jadi requirement: ladies, choose a man that could amaze you. Therefore there are reasons why you wanna stay with them. Siapa bilang cinta nggak butuh alasan? Cinta butuh beribu alasan. Suka karna? Cantik? Ganteng? Sholeh? Prestasi? Atittude? You name them all.
Cinta butuh beribu alasan. Dan logis kalau alasan-alasan tadi nggak akan stay selamanya — oh, come on, what lasts forever? Thus, a commitment. Ketika alasan-alasan itu pergi satu persatu, yang harus didatangkan adalah alasan-alasan baru untuk mempertahankan komitmen. Alasan-alasan yang berlandaskan syukur, eagerness to be better, dan yang lebih ultimate lagi.. Mengharap ridho Yang Di Atas.
As cliché as it is.
Hidup nggak kaya slogan Minyak Kayu Putih “buat anak kok coba-coba”. Ya coba aja. Try it, feel it. If it — or he, can make you feel awesome: buy it. If it — or he, is not, put it back to the rack.
I know this maybe too late for a “welcome 2015” kind of post. Let’s see, 40 days passed by already. And I enjoy every single second of it! Here are my stories within those days:
I bought myself a new car at December 31st, so I could wander around the city at the first day of the year. As cheesy as it may sound, I wanna start the year with one awesomeness, hence the car. I remember I drove it the next day I work. At lunch time, like 8 people together from work went to have super spicy Ayam Taliwang — we went there by the car. Happy.
New Year’s eve also went great. Spent it with peeps from undergrad. A lotttt of stories and laughters, and shrimps, and fishes, chickens, all good stuffs. So happy I had these peeps. Later after that night, we had couple of lunch time together near office, Coffee on the weekends, invitation for Stand-up comedian show, anddd the list goes on and on. Super glad.
Met again with biffles from SF-chapter was one of my happiness sources within these 40 days of 2015. Always a good time to meet them. They’re happy dreamers. Always have something great to achieve. Interesting stuff to see. Simple reasons to laugh. It’s like, they don’t wanna miss even a second of their life. They taught me many things with their own unique ways. I’m a happy happy being.
I have this program called one picnic time a month with fams. Last month, we went to see mangrove plantation, closed it with a super nice seafood by the bay. I loooooove to see happiness on mom’s and dad’s face. Love also the fact that little bro enjoyed the good food. Well most of the time he did enjoy whatever dishes we had sih hehehehe. Surely, the program will be continued. Happpppy.
January wouldn’t complete without my day. Putri told her hairdresser to make my hair even prettier couple days before. So at 27th, I could just drive early, stop at the saloon, and do just simple stuff to look awesome. Peeps from work loved it 🙂 me too. Got tons of good wishes, birthday shoutouts, as well as pictures at that day. Happiness overloded! Mom bought me cute earrings, and I wore it, matched it with my top that day. After work, SF biffles threw me champagne and cute Longchamp lunch-purse. So blessed, I am!
Update from work? I was soooooo relieved when my boss posted “She nailed it!” to the group. He posted it together with a picture; with me on it, handing a microphone, looking enthusiastically speaks in front of potential customers about our products. I love my job. Love the company. Love the bosses. Love the peeps. Love the lessons. Love love love.
Love? Wait. I don’t wanna rush it, rush it. When the time is good, you’ll know it. I’ll know it. ❤️
So. 40 days already huh? Been great? Absolutely! For more greater days ahead! 🍷
With all the humble and grief, we want to let you know that we officially ended our marriage. We are grateful for every single second of the journey that we had. We learned tons of things about life together, we never regret. At one point we realized that we grew to the different path, we knew we need to do something about it. We worked so hard to fix everything, but it went not as good as we expected.
We hope that this decision would make our life better as an individual. We also thank everyone that have joined us in the journey. A lot of friends and families were giving us huge support and love so we are now become what we are today: two better persons. We remain being friends as we want each other to be happy in the future.
Life indeed doesn’t always give us sweets. But we’re sure He will always give us strength and ease in its every bitterness. As an end to this post, let’s change some prayers: May Allah SWT bring a better tomorrow for us all.
Ika & Budhi.
<noun> the quality or state of being simple and sincere; having or showing unaffected simplicity of nature or absence of artificiality; unsophisticated; ingenuous.
Couple days ago I had a fun (at the same time scary) discussion with a good friend. We talked about how wild the world is: corruption, affair, betrayal, bribes, and everything that we know happened in our circle. We know our friend out there has this pressure to sleep with her supervisor, or else she couldn’t get the promotion. Or in another case, one company has a night-club kind of culture, which every senior manager candidates have to be able to blend in. These just made us, scare. We learned everything in ideal condition in our school, university, and of course family,.. and then we had these friends, office colleagues, and other circles that made us see that the world is not that ideal. It’s totally different. Full of bitterness.
We both realized that we are wayyyyy too naive to live in this wildness. We trusted people we love. We did rely to our partner in the office. We told secrets to our best friends. We obeyed our supervisors’ words and believed that they help us developed better, when in the end,.. turned out everything were not all end as we expected: our beloved betrayed us. Office partners stabbed us from behind. Friends spread bad rumors. Or the fact that our bosses were just using us for the sake of their needs. Again. Full of bitterness.
And then we thought that probably we can’t be too naive. Probably we won’t survive to beat all these bitterness if we think simply, that all people are good and trustworthy. My friend added “Bahkan judul album kedua Band Naif aja, ‘Jangan Terlalu Naif‘, Ka!“.
And the discussion ended, brought me into a long thinking, Is it really wrong being a naive person? Is it wrong if I see all mankind are good and trustworthy? Is it wrong if I put my best effort in every situation as if they want it really bad, and expect they will do the same for me?
Expectation. That word, huh?
Well, some might say high expectation is the answer why we feel disappointed. It might be. It might be not.
I was thinking for days, until I saw friend’s post in Facebook about Teresa’s Poem below.
Mother Teresa’s Anyway Poem
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
Bitterness is always there. But it shouldn’t stop us from doing good deeds. So I decided to just stay naive. Stay honest. Stay believe in good things in people. If He gave me another bitterness, let it be anyway. That bitterness will make me stronger, wiser,.. and might be closer to Him.
A current lesson I need to learn.
Allah shakes my life, pushes me to jump to higher levels. I tell you my friend, I learn a lot. I’m trying to digest everything well, though. I believe everything will be better eventually! 🙂
First, I wanna let you know that I’m not writing this post in a good time. I will have an exam tomorrow morning with tons of things to read, I’m still in 60% prepared. But that video, that video really bugged me. It makes me learn a lot of things. It reminds me everything about simple formulas to be a true leader, yet super-touching. I decided to take max 1 hour to write this post. The future-me might need to reread this someday.
The video is a recording version of one of famous talkshow episodes in Indonesia, Mata Najwa. It’s like Indonesia’s Oprah, but in a politic field. The interviewee is one candidate of the world best mayors, Tri Risma. She’s being interviewed because there was a rumor about her plan to resign from the current position. A lot of local articles said that some people might be bothered with her recent policies and she can not stand anymore with the political pressure. Najwa, the presenter, asked her a lot of specific questions regarding the issues. Many times, Risma just gave “I’m sorry Najwa, I can not give you the answer”. The video tells us a lot about Risma’s character, character of a leader, a learner, a spiritualist, a mother, and a truly sincere human that want to give a total contribution to her city. The video is in Indonesian Language. If some of you don’t understand, well.. thats why I write this post, I’ll jot down some of values and points that I love from the video.
- She’s into details. Leaders isn’t just paying attention to the big view of the problems. She checked the planning documents of every building in her town. Every building. There was a recording played on the video, showed how she was being so mad to the workers in the building, she screamed like crazy, “Who’s here can give me an explanation about the change? It shouldn’t be build like this! I want you to demolish all this things now, or else, I take back the permission!” I was like… super amazed. She’s super blunt.
- A good listener. She actually went into elementary schools, talked to prostitutes, even discussed with demonstrators. She got a lot of findings by listen to people in a low level. My fav part is in ’24:00, when she found a fact that a 63 years old prostitutes has many customers of elementary and junior high students. The industry is destroying our young generation. After found out that fact, she decided to do something with the prostitutes industry in Surabaya. I was crying when she said “I will do something about it. I told my family, if one day I die because something happened with me in the middle of my effort to fix this problem, I want you to let me go. Don’t sue anyone.” A cruel political scheme might cause somebody’s death. Everybody knows that. Somebody might not like you and makes you leave this world eternally.
- She believes that God will always give her guides. “I don’t have a specific plan everyday. I listen to God where He would led me to everyday, each time. Everyday I said to the driver, let’s go to the west/east/south of the city, and in so many case I found something to be fixed.” In many cases she couldn’t find the answer of the problems, and she decided to just “listen to God”, and suddenly the solution just came. Several times on the video she said, “I’m just doing what God tells me to do. I’m a servant, following his guides”. I need need need to learn more to listen to God :’)
Another leader I fond of. I tracked down her background, she went to Netherlands, Germany, and South Korea to learn. FYI, one of my findings shows that many good leaders in my country went abroad to learn, went back to Indonesia, being a decision maker, and make good changes to as many people as they can. I think I’m in a good track 🙂